


We Did Everything Right (and now I'm on the outside)

by maybe_we_were



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), F/M, Missed Opportunity, Past Relationship(s), Steve Angst, Steve Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 21:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4195347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybe_we_were/pseuds/maybe_we_were
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve's feelings during Age of Ultron pertaining to Natasha.  </p>
<p>Warning:  This is total angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Did Everything Right (and now I'm on the outside)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! Normally I write stories that have a happily ever after (or something of the sort), but in this case, I felt a bit unhappy with some of the events in Age of Ultron. I also wanted to try a different voice, a different type of story and this is the product of that. 
> 
> Marvel is amazing!

He has a pretty good idea how it happened. 

One minute he and Natasha were fighting HYDRA, trying to save Bucky, protecting one another and the next she was walking away from him in the cemetery, a chaste kiss pressed to his cheek as a lasting mark.

He _thought_ he had done everything right up until that point. 

Letting her go in the cemetery was difficult, but it was what she needed.  It was necessary and what was for the best.  She needed to find herself and the last thing he wanted to do was be in the way of that.  But after he had some time to think about it…well, maybe it was a test.  A test of his feelings, his desire, of her importance to him.  And he let her walk away just like Peggy let him.

It was something that _had_ to be done.

If he had known how much it would hurt, how the future would play out, he wouldn’t have let her get three inches from him, let alone half way around the world.  She slipped through his fingers, all because he wasn’t selfish and just asked for what he wanted.

He assumed once she found herself that she’d find him, that they could maybe try what it was that had grown between them.  It was a bond forged from sleepless nights and international missions and some type of inexplicable chemistry.

And now he’s watching her talk with Dr. Banner at the bar, red lips quirked in a sultry smile, hazel eyes soft and unguarded.  She’d given him that same look once or twice, mostly when they were alone in the tower. 

But that was before.

He should have taken the chance and asked her to stay, but he didn’t because he didn’t even think it was an option.

He watches as Natasha walks away from the bar, leaving a stunned Bruce in her wake.  Steve almost feels pity, because Bruce seems to have _no_ clue what to do.  He was in a similar position a little over a year ago.

Walking over to the bar, Steve grabs another beer, which unfortunately doesn’t even relax him, due to his increased metabolism, before he gets Bruce’s attention.

“That’s nice…you and Romanoff.”

Her last name rolling off his tongue feels foreign, but it’s his way of putting distance between them, another barrier.  And in reality, it’s not nice, at least, not from his end of things.  Still, he wants Natasha to be happy and if Bruce is who she wants, he’s not going to jeopardize their friendship by saying how he feels.

He tries to warn Bruce to not make the same mistakes he did. 

“Look, as the world’s leading authority on waiting too long, don’t.”

Bruce (and probably everyone else besides Sam) would think he’s talking about Peggy, but Steve’s eyes stray to the red-headed beauty who is joking with Maria across the room.

Instead, Bruce insists there is nothing going on besides some harmless flirting, but Steve knows better. 

“I’ve seen her flirt, _up close_.”

It was a subtle jab which he thinks Bruce missed until he hears, “What do you mean, _up close_?”

 

* * *

 

Time goes by and things happen, almost in a blur, after Ultron arrives.

Natasha was fighting next to him, tossing his discarded shield up to him while racing behind the tractor trailer, looking deadly and beautiful on a motorcycle.  He’s too caught up in everything and trying to save as many people as he can when Clint asks if he’s got his eyes on Natasha.  There isn’t time to look and he knows she is more than capable of taking care of herself, so he barks orders to Clint to keep going. 

Natasha is captured by Ultron and his heart feels like it’s about to give out because it was _his_ job to make sure she was ok and now they have no clue where she is or if she’s even alive. 

Luckily, a few hours later Clint receives a message giving exact coordinates.  Relief rushes through his veins and his sole mission becomes how to get her out. 

* * *

 

She reappears on the bridge, fighting off some of Ultron’s minions, clearly outnumbered.  Steve does the only thing he can, which is to throw her his shield so she can protect herself and start throwing punches at the metal robots that are crawling all over the place. 

Once they finish that, they get a moment of silence to figure out how to get the civilians off the flying piece of Earth that is threatening them. 

Tony’s in their ear, saying how they might not make it out of this one and Steve looks over at Natasha to gauge her reaction.

“There are worse ways to go,” she shrugs, “Besides, where else am I going to get a view like this.”

Her eyes are on the beautiful blue sky that’s dotted with puffy clouds, a serene smile tilting her lips. 

He nods his reply, staring at how radiant she looks against the atmospheric backdrop, the view he’s looking at much different than hers, but agrees it’s not the worst way to go. 


End file.
